Marathon

All these years, I have been running away from so many things, that I don't remember when and how I started this marathon.
Now, I'm running again...from myself. This time I myself want to be lost, that I never find the lost me within.

What's missing..

It's been quite a while that I penned my thoughts down. It almost feels like words forcefully drowned, just to show the surface as unmoved.

Well, I longed to be out of my current workplace for reasons that none of my friends approved of. And here I am, resigned out of sheer impulsiveness and feeling burdened. I know for sure that I would not miss the place or the people. I am quite sure that I've done it at the right time. But, something is missing. I know it and I know not.

I asked for a job. I have it. But, don't want it. I'm quite unsure where I want to be or what I want to do. Right now, I need God's grace to carry me through this rough phase.

I want to turn back time and ask God to give me a heart that never loves. It doesn't have anything direct to do with my leaving...