Confessions of a `worry-er'

So I've resolved to believe that I'm more of a `worry-er' than a `warrior'.

Does that help anyone at all? Does that even help myself? That's the best question I asked myself lately.

Right now, my life is that of no worry, no hurry, no job, no colleagues, no phone calls, no haste, no waste. And, in nothingness, I've come to confrontation with what I've brushed under the carpet for years; strange incidents, lies, love, twisted imaginations, cornered conversations, and a true friend's love that I've been oblivious to for long- of God's.

So what am I worrying about? Plainly about the fact that I don't have anything to worry about. Yes you're right. It's nonsensical. But that's the way I am.

Even in this season of silence, God has established so much peace and rest in my wounded heart. God's Word holds good for everyone. For you and for me, the worst sinner of all. Its a miracle that a frivolous person like me has such an intense life to live. God has a plan and it amazes me that He thinks I'm worth this life I'm living.

Every time I think I'm alive, I owe it straight to God. Though I know that I tend to worry a lot over trivial issues, I believe that God is the warrior in me battling the more profound wars of my soul.

I'm a worry-er and I have a warrior God. Imagine, such grace even for a sinner like me.

Really real

"A friend is someone who brings the best in you."

I read a quote close on those lines a few days back and conveniently forgot it. And after a series of disappointing incidents I was reminded of the same line.
On the one hand, it made me more introspective. I gave myself sometime to come to terms with myself or rather what I really am. And on the other, it made me understand the ingredients of a real friend or a real relationship (in the broader sense).
In actuality, there are no real people. But, strangely we all look for something in every relationship. Some people define it. And an emotional few confine to those definitions. Others just play the blame game purely to victimize another.
Either ways, what's a relationship if it takes more efforts than constructing ten new Empire State buildings to keep it?
I'm thinking more like a grown-up, but just don't want to end up being `frighteningly human,' as I heard from someone.

Sketches of smiles

Every time I made you smile, I sketched that.

Now, I’m looking back at my sketches of your smiles.

They are frozen on paper and I wonder why that brings a tear to my eye.